Measuring Up
A review by Onan the Vulgarian
From XXFactor.com

Cast: Jovonnie, City Boy, Redd, Shaft, Shawn Legend, Sho-Nuff, Killa, Run 30, Bronz Star.
Directed by Jalin Fuentes for Pitbull.

Confucious Say: When a huge black cock is staring you in the face,  stretch your horizons and your hole to new limits, as these nine models prove in Measuring Up at ThugMart.com.

Too much mumbled dialog results in many of the models’ words falling on uncomprehending ears, but the camera has no problem recording every move. If this were Citizen Kan and we missed hearing “Rosebud,” the poor elocution would be a problem, but the story line takes a far back seat to the action in Measuring Up.

Jovonnie wants to sample what City Boy’s got in his pants — the booty part — but City Boy says he ain’t havin’ it. City Boy didn’t count on Jovonnie’s determination, and pretty soon he’s swallowing Jovonnie’s sword like it was breakfast. Jovonnie is polite enough to reciprocate before plugging City Boy’s hold and making the bedsprings (and City Boy) sing.

Redd and Shaft hook up at the Laundromat, and there’s no question this time that they both want “to see what you got.” The pants come off first and the shirts have to wait while they suck each other and Shaft eats Redd’s hole, pronouncing it worth trading for a girl. Redd’s ass comes alive, and he has to interrupt Shaft’s eating to tell him it’s time to fuck him. Redd works his hips hard in every position of the fuck and leaves a huge load all over Shaft’s face.

Jovonnie returns in the next scene, with Shawn Legend. Both of them have the same problem: their men think they’re cheating. Shawn has a solution for payback: “All I’m looking for now is to get fucked as much as I can.” Jovonnie isn’t so keen on vengeance, but he can’t say no to a good blow job or a tight hole. Jovonnie pumps ferociously while Shawn cries out and squeals like the stuck pig he is, until they both blast forth in jism, the spooge of thugs.

Sho Nuff gets caught with his hands full of hardon (and he’s got about three handsful) when Killa comes in to ask a computer question. He tries to hid his meat, but there’s too much of it, and Killa’s eyes light up like the proverbial kid in a candy store. Killa sucks as best he can, then lets Sho Nuff sit on his face and fuck him. It’s a sweaty, multi-position fuck on another squeaking bed, with Killa contorting himself like a pretzel so that Killa can sink every millimeter of his cock.

When Bronz Star comes to visit Run 30 at his new crib, he confesses that he’d really like to suck his dick. Run can respect Bronz Star’s preferences, but he doesn’t share them — until Bronz Star offers to buy him a new plasma TV if he can’t make him cum. Deal. Run seems pretty disinterested while being sucked, but he he takes it to the next level by spinning Bronz around and boning him. Four positions later, Run loses the bet, but tells Bronz he still expects a TV.

Measuring Up has five hard-working bottoms doing their best with tops heavy with black cocks. It’s light on use of the N-word and chat about ladies, two characteristics of thug porn that may be better honored in the breach than in the observance. The models are easy on the eyes, the booties are bouncing and bubbly and Jovonnie is on his way up the star ladder.

The DVD has scene selection, trailers, web link; 136 minutes.

Take It Like A Man #1: Azz On Fire
A Review by Onan the Vulgarian
posted at XXFactor.com

Take It Like A Man DVD at Thugmart.com

Cast Ebony Thugs: Cass, Remy Mars, J Wheels, Blaze, Kapone X, Slim Thug, Swift, Marcus, Nubius.
Directed by Jalin Fuentes for Pitbull Productions.

A hot ass — and this film has plenty of them — can only be quenched by a huge heat-seeking cock - this movie will warm your wintry days and nights.

The five two-man scenes of thug action in Take It Like a Man #1: Azz on Fire will give you a good reason to come in out of the winter cold and spend two hours in front of your TV or computer screen.

Cass looks boyish and cute in his cap and eyeglasses, but he’s got a mean streak. When Swift accidentally runs his remote-control operated toy truck into Cass’ new footwear, Cass grabs the truck and takes off with it. Swift follows him home, unaware that Cass has a boyfriend, who throws him out. Unwilling to leave without his truck, Swift lurks outside while Cass and the BF, Remy Mars, fuck.

Remy has been waiting for his man’s cock and no petty street crime is gonna make him wait any longer. Cass has a big black cock, and while Remy sucks it, Cass eats his ass — a perfect bubble butt. A scootch here and a lunge there, and Cass has got his cock buried deep in that butt, in an orgy of gay anal sex.

In the neighbors apartment, J Wheels and Blaze argue over a CD. Wheels wins the argument by offering Blaze his cock. J Wheels is almost a twink, except that he’s got well sculpted flesh on his thin frame. His skin is flawless café au lait. Blaze shows full appreciation of Wheels’ assets and Wheels responds with a deep ass tonguing, hole sucking and fucking.

CD wars also provide the catalyst for Kapone X and Slim Thug to fuck. Under Slim Thug’s guidance, Kapone learns to swallow his entire cock. Slim Thug then eats his man’s ass and they both finger it. Although this is not the most attractive physical pair of the film, they make up for it sexually. Kapone is a top who knows what pleasures him (including himself) and knows how to extract that pleasure from a partner, leading to the best fuck of the film.

Swift (did you forget about him) hasn’t been able to retrieve his truck, but Cass relents one day when his boyfriend is not around to put out for him, offering Swift his truck back in exchange for some action. As in his earlier scene, Cass rims his partner and plays with his hole but doesn’t suck him. Swift seems to like getting fucked and Cass seems to like fucking him but there’s otherwise little chemistry there — sort of glorified mutual masturbation leading to each cumming on the other’s face.

Marcus, who may have the biggest cock in the movie (it’s on the DVD cover), makes the mistake of breaking into Nubius’ apartment while Nubius is at home. It’s either the police or sex, so Marcus chooses the latter. Marcus gets his holed lubed while he sucks Nubius, then he gets his butt fucked so hard you think the bed’s going to come apart.

Azz on Fire has five hot scenes and some fierce butt pounding. None of the tops suck cock, which may disappoint some viewers. But if you’re an ass man, the butt parade is sensational with at least one great pair of buns in every scene.

The DVD has scene selection, trailers, web link; 114 minutes.

review posted Dec. 19, 2008